Do Superheroes Mutter? Yes, Yes They Do

Dear Reader,

Something interesting happened today… The Unstoppable Dr. Stan was spotted around town again, this time just, well, muttering to himself. He kept talking about his “stand”? At first we all assumed that this had something to do with the way he stood, as I am sure you are thinking Dear Reader, but then as he started to speak to himself more and more we got the impression he had some other ideas. I’ll see if I can remember some of what he was saying, but admittedly, he was muttering and I am not a super hero with super hearing doing super things. Anyways, I’ll list below some of the things I heard Dear Reader, for your amusement.

· “Only a year to live? Who knows such a thing? I think I would continue being Unstoppable… I must defeat that maleficent Professor Pause, who refuses to complete anything and will pause all the world”

· “Well… I am a superhero, if a natural disaster struck I think I would save people. It seems like the ‘natural’ thing to do” (it was here, Dear Reader, that our local hero started to chuckle to himself)

· “Unless it’s a supermovie I’m helping my friends! Dr. Stan to the rescue!”

· “Wait? Are people being exploited to make my super clothes??” (at this point Dr. Stan shrugged, a weird response to hearing about abuse of workers) “Eh, I need the clothes, and this is the cheapest way to get them. I’m not rich you know.” (Oh Dear Reader! We are one step closer to determining the identity of our local hero! Whoever he is, he is not rich. Keep that in mind as we get this figured out!)

· “I’m the Unstoppable Dr. Stan! I would never play the lottery! Then I have to stop and buy a ticket, I can’t do that.” (I think the best term to describe the noise he started to make here would be ‘growling’) “Fine… Hypotheticals and all that…. I think I would buy my mother a house, she deserves that, and pay for my brother’s wedding and my sister’s new child costs. Cause that’s what hero’s do!”

· “You try to fight the Unstoppable Dr. Stan and he’ll beat your a$$” (Pause again Dear Reader for our heroes chuckling, apparently he likes his own jokes) “Don’t worry world, I would be merciful and talk to you about the issue and why you were fighting and I would try to get to the bottom of the reason you are attacking people. It just wouldn’t be fair to fight me.” (And he ended the sentence with a roguish wink? Well Dear Reader, my enthusiasm for our local hero just fell a tad.)

· “Was the Immovable Bear talking trash about someone?? Well I guess we are going to have an argument! Or not. Depends on if I agree with him I guess” (You know, Dear Reader, so far our local hero seems to have a very flexible morality…)

· (At this point we saw our local hero start to dance, Dear Reader, which was an odd thing to see when there’s no sound around. Thankfully a random citizen walked up to Dr. Stan and asked him what was going on) “Hello there Citizen! I am simply getting ready to fight the evil Professor Pause! And what better way then dancing to some AJR – Let The Games Begin!”

· “My inspiration… I’d have to say Abraham Lincoln, dude was genuinely Unstoppable! Well… I mean… I guess almost Unstoppable. John Wilkes Booth did a great job showing just how much stopping power a bullet has.” (Some superhero Dr. Stan is if he can’t stop a bullet. Where’s Superman when you need him?)

· “I always feel great about myself, I’m Unstoppable! I’ve got the ability to keep on going and hey, everyone seems to like me, so why shouldn’t I feel good about myself?” (Well Dear Reader, our local superhero apparently has no shortage of ego. To be fair, what superhero doesn’t have a large ego? Having a superpower is kindof a boost to the old confidence.)

· “There are no barriers silly Citizens, I am Unstoppable, nothing stops me from doing what I want to do!” (At this point a random citizen walked up to our superhero and whispered in his ear something about ‘can you actually stop time?’ which seemed to stop Dr. Stan in his tracks) “ummm….. I would get back into wood working, do more charity work, and spend more time with my super friends.”

Well Dear Reader, this is about all that I can remember our local hero stating. He eventually did his normal lightning act and disappeared with that flash of bright light (your Author is going to lose his sight following Dr. Stan, Dear Reader, why can’t he disappear in a puff of candy or something? Then I get to keep my eyesight). Your Author here will do his best to keep you updated on the antics of the Unstoppable Dr. Stan! Make sure to keep posted here to see what happens next!

Sincerely,

The Author